Drink one large glass of water. Take five or ten minutes to stretch, while simultaneously preparing a thermos of coffee.
Slip on walking shoes and take elevator seven floors down to the lobby. After a few quick horizontal meters of walking, start uphill climb by taking stairs to second level parking, passing under hundreds of white and pink blooms. From the upper level parking, climb steep incline up to security gate. Be greeted by smiling security guards who salute and say, "So-wat-dee-ka, Madame!" Pass the ever-present one-eyed dog that substitutes for a lion statue at the entrance.
 |
| Well, they are usually smiling |
Enjoy a slight reprieve by walking along the flower-laden fence on the perimeter of the property. The reprieve ends by crossing the street and climbing the hill at the entrance to the park. Avoid the stones that were wedged under the tires of cars parked on the incline yesterday. Encounter the first of many packs of stray dogs; these lounging near the taxi drivers. Climb another set of stairs, avoiding the broken stones. Reach the Peace Plaza with the Rotary Club monument and green-copper fish statuary. Walk across the pavers threatening to swallow you up. Momentarily interrupt a flock of pigeons who soon go back to their pecking.
Pass dog pack number two, these grey and black, striding four across toward you as you approach. Channel your inner Cesar Millan, mustering as much calm, assertive energy as you can to give the impression of a pack leader. Watch the four make way for you as you pass. Enjoy the peeks of the harbor through occasional spaces in the greenery to your left, catching your breath on this downward slope. Have this stretch to yourself...and the dogs, of course.
 |
These guys make me think of the Wickersham brothers,
for some reason |
Observe one of many feeders of stray dogs, usually young Thai couples or older farangs, who probably all believe they are the only ones who feed the mutts. See that all the mutts appear to be well-fed.
 |
| The puppies get the most attention, of course |
The temporary downward slope gives way, and you begin another upward climb, albeit on a fairly gentle slope. Pass the "tire trees," where people much more fit than you leave tires tied to ropes; they put the ropes around their waists and drag the tires behind them for an extra workout. Reach the fork in the road where the man always stands outside his car, smoking a cigarette, giving the impression he is waiting for a friend. Greet him with a "So-wat-dee-ka!" Take the fork to the right, climbing steeply up to the busy road that is the main thoroughfare from the city up to the hill. Dodge tour buses and motorcycle taxis, and cross the road to the other park on the other hill.
Step across the plaza where several seniors are gathering to exercise with bamboo poles. Notice the van parked above the plaza that brings food and drink for the group, and holds the loudspeakers that broadcast the count for their calisthenics - "Neung, Sorng, Saam, See..." Muster some enthusiasm and jog up the two sets of stairs that go from the plaza up to the track that circles the Big Buddha hill. Encounter many other people out for their morning exercise: Thai women chatting in slow-moving groups, Muay Thai boxers in training, older, overweight white men. Decide whether to say, "So-wat-dee-ka" or "good morning" by doing a quick visual assessment. Frequently guess wrong.
Pass the well-worn, built-in exercise stations where someone is always attempting a chin-up or push-up. Feel inadequate as you see the older guy run up a long flight of stairs...repeatedly. Pass the black dog lounging on the bench under the cement shelter, then ascend the long hill up to the back of the hill. Ignore the two orange tabbies just like they ignore you. Enjoy the short, flat road before mustering a little speed to jog down the short hill, past the plaza where the shirtless man in the too-short camo shorts and knee socks performs his exuberant stretching routine. Try not to stare.
Pass the flower-lined path that leads up to the top of Big Buddha hill where the giant gold-colored Buddha watches over the city. See the unofficial mayor of the hill, a small, white-haired British man in white shorts and white shirt, always accompanied by friends. Smile and wave when he enthusiastically says, "Good Morning! So nice to see you!" Listen to the chirp of frogs in the underbrush and the cluck of chickens at the construction site to your left. Pass the third pack of dogs with the puppies that hardly look like puppies anymore. Don't be startled when the black pup with the neon collar approaches you, looking for handouts.
 |
| The way to Buddha |
 |
| the mayor is on duty... |
Prepare for the steepest part of the walk. Sing "Let it Snow," or "Winter Wonderland" in your head to trick yourself into believing it isn't ninety degrees and you aren't panting furiously to get up to the top. Feel pleasantly surprised when you make it. Pass the plastic container someone placed under the dripping water pipe to catch water for the strays. Muster a little speed again and scoot past the colored flags down to the road.
Pass the taxi driver lounging in his makeshift hammock, and walk along the busy road until you find a break in traffic to zip across the five-way intersection. Dodge tour buses and motorbikes heading up to Scenic Viewpoint, and head for the state of exclusivity and fascination. Enjoy the easy walk past orange and yellow flowering trees, and give a wai to the friendly hotel security guard who always comes out to give you a salute.
Pass the meteorological station and see that it is already hot so early in the morning. Veer off the road into the colorful exercise plaza always busy with fitness buffs and lazy dogs. Climb a few short steps and walk around the permanently closed refreshment stand. Weave in and out of the palm tree pillars and "answer your questions three" to pass down the stairs and around the garbage cans that always smell like pineapple. Savor the easy downhill slope toward home, greeting the friendly food vendor who parks her cute little food truck at the side of the road.
 |
| 83°F |
 |
| What is your name? What is your quest?... |
Turn onto the home stretch, pass the security guards, descend the final set of stairs, enjoy the welcoming sculpture in the lobby, and hope the security guard is around to open the elevator for you. Rinse, repeat.
